Greetings and salutations...

Mrs Dilworth
Personal Assistant to the Vice-Chancellor and President
University of Poppleton
Poppleton Road
Poppleton PP11 WW34

Dear Mrs Dilworth

Greetings and salutations from the 75th International Conference on Widening Access. Vice-chancellors here from all over the civilised world. (As you can imagine - quite an assembly of brain power!)

Gave my paper on "The Poppleton Approach to Disadvantaged Youngsters" yesterday. Very well received by modest audience. (By the way, thanks for tidying up the statistics and the central argument.) All those present agreed that something needed to be done to widen access and that the Poppleton "lowering standards" approach was a valuable initiative.

My suite is comfortable although the Jacuzzi is on the small side. Company pleasant apart from you-know-who from the Russell Group who actually has "Russell Group" on his name badge and constantly complains about the claret.

Tonight is the Grand Conference Dinner. We'll be entertained by a musical group made up entirely of students who failed to get into the local university.

Hope the administration is "ticking over" in my absence. If all goes well, my hand should be back on the tiller by mid-October.

The Vice-Chancellor
(signed in his absence by the concierge).